Raise Your Child . org » Communication

10 Organizing Tips for Road Warrior Parents

Raise Your Child — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 09:36:44 +0000

By Barbara Hemphill

Parenting is always a challenge, but particularly so if your work requires that you travel. Don’t be too hard on yourself or on them when you find it difficult. Here are some tips you may find helpful:

1. Communicate with your family regularly about your travel schedule. If possible, post your itinerary in a prominent place, such as the refrigerator.

2. If your spouse also travels, exchange itineraries. Create a method for a daily “check-in.”

3. Whenever possible, establish a regular “check-in” time with the family so they can expect your call. Encourage every family member to have a file folder and/or checklist for “things to discuss” when you call.

4. If you have small children, send a postcard from the airport when you depart so it will arrive the day after you leave.

5. If you use a computer, and have one at home, send a daily e-mail message to the family, or a more personal message to each member of the family.

6. Let your child know you think education is important by participating. For example:

• If you like to give presentations, offer to speak to your child’s class on a topic related to your work or interests that might interest him

• Send a postcard to your child’s class at school. The teacher may appreciate the opportunity for a geography lesson.

7. Create a checklist to prepare for travel. Keep photocopies near where you store your suitcase, so you can use one each time you pack.

8. Ask your children to give you a photo you can carry with you – it will remind you of why you are working so hard! Be sure to leave one for them.

9. Streamline housekeeping, yard maintenance, housekeeping, and shopping. Consider using outside services for some routine tasks, so you’ll have more family time when you are home.

10. Have a discussion with your children about your travel.

About the Author

© Barbara Hemphill is the author of Kiplinger’s Taming the Paper Tiger at Work and Taming the Paper Tiger at Home and co-author of Love It or Lose It: Living Clutter-Free Forever. The mission of Hemphill Productivity Institute is to help individuals and organizations create and sustain a productive environment so they can accomplish their work and enjoy their lives. We do this by organizing space, information, and time. We can be reached at 800-427-0237 or at www.ProductiveEnvironment.com

Communicating With Your Baby

Raise Your Child — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 05:59:34 +0000

From the very moment of birth, your baby began to communicate with you. As soon as you hold your baby, you begin to communicate with each other by exchanging loving glances, sounds, and touches. You introduce your little one to your own ways communicating through touch, making verbal sounds and facial gestures. Over time, your baby will learn your language and ways of communicating, just as you will learn your baby’s unique language.

One sound will you will begin to hear is your baby’s cry. In the beginning, your newborn’s cries may seem like a foreign language to you. But before you know it, you will learn your baby’s unique language and be able to provide your little one with the care they need.

How Does My Baby Communicate?

As any new parent soon learns, your baby is born with the ability to cry, which is one distinct way they’ll communicate with you. Your baby’s cries generally tell you that something is wrong in their world. They may have a wet diaper, hungry tummy, cold toes, need a hug or cuddle, become tired or bored. Really, your baby may cry for just about any reason. It will take some time, but soon you’ll be able to recognize which need your baby is expressing and respond accordingly.

When your baby is beginning to explore their new world, they may also cry because they become overwhelmed by all of the many new sights and sounds they encounter. Sometimes your baby may cry for no apparent reason at all. Crying can also be a way that your baby shuts out stimuli when they become overloaded.

Soon you’ll discover that crying is your baby’s main method of communication, but your little one is also capable of other, more subtle forms of communicating as well. Learning to recognize these cues, and other means of communication, is both exciting and rewarding. And knowing how your baby communicates can strengthen your bond with your baby.

How Can I Communicate with my Baby?

Within a few days after birth, your newborn will become accustomed to seeing you and will begin to focus on your face. Babies watch our faces and often mimic the expressions we make. As you are stimulating baby’s sense of sight, it is also important to stimulate your baby’s senses of touch and hearing. Your newborn will be curious about the many noises they hear, but none more than the voice. So it is important to talk to your baby whenever you have the chance. Even though your baby doesn’t understand the words you are saying, your baby surely understands the tone and intent behind those words. Your calm and reassuring voice is what your baby needs to hear to feel safe and secure.

Stimulating baby’s sense of touch begins the moment they’re born and continues throughout their lifetime. With almost every touch your newborn is learning about life, so it is important to provide your little one with many hugs, kisses and cuddles. Through the use of nurturing touch, you are communicating your love and attention for your baby.

Communicating with a baby is really a matter of taking the time to learn what your newborn is saying and meeting their needs. Always respond to your newborn’s cries. You can not spoil your baby by responding to their needs immediately. Your quick response will communicate to your baby that they are important, you are listening to what they are saying and of course, above all, they are worthy of your love and attention.

About The Author

Copyright © 2007 Liddle Kidz™ Infant and Children’s Pediatric Massage
Looking for expert advice for bringing home baby and improving your family’s bond? Find answers to all your questions about infant massage instruction training, massage for children and pediatric massage therapy at http://www.liddlekidz.com . Infant Massage Instructor Trainer, Tina Allen, founder of leading children’s health and nurturing touch organization Liddle Kidz™, shares over ten years of expertise working with children and families.

How to Set Internet Safety Rules for Children

Raise Your Child — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 05:46:35 +0000

By Ambrose Duperon

The Internet is an amazing tool, available for use by millions upon millions of people every day. Unfortunately, just as many people abuse the resources provided by the Internet. Sexual predators abuse the Internet by using it to stalk vulnerable people, collect personal information, and plan their attacks.

Before giving your child Internet access, have a conversation about both the benefits and dangers of the Internet. Lay down a set of rules to govern your child’s use of the Internet and be sure to include the following:

Explain the importance of keeping personal information private. Explain what personal information is. Younger children may not understand that addresses, phone numbers, school names, and parent names should be kept private.

Keep the computer in a public place. Children should not need privacy while using the Internet to network with friends or while they are doing homework. You should be able to monitor your child’s Internet use at all times.

Make sure your child knows that he can, and should, let you know if anyone he meets on the Internet makes him feel uncomfortable. The same applies to information or websites that your child may accidentally access; knowing how your child gained access to dangerous information will help you to prevent a similar occurrence in the future.

Prohibit the exchange of personal photographs, especially with strangers. A picture, combined with any other personal information that may have been obtained, will increase a sexual predator’s chances of locating and harming your child.

Make sure you have access to your child’s user ID’s and passwords, not only for e-mail accounts but also for any website that requires the input of personal information for private access.

Prohibit your child from meeting online friends in person. If there is a reason for you to allow a personal meeting, it should be in a public place and in your presence. Your child should not gain the impression that it is ok to meet other people without your permission.

While teaching your child about the dangers of others on the Internet, be sure to explain that your child should not abuse the system or hurt others. Incidents of children bullying classmates on the Internet have increased as well, and your child should contribute to keeping the Internet a safe place for his friends as well as himself.

Once the rules are set, make sure they are strictly enforced. Not backing down will let your child know you are serious about his safety. It may not seem like it at the time, but your child will thank you later in life.

Ambrose Duperon
http://www.onlinepredators.info

If your children use the Internet you must read our free report – “Online Predators“

7 Tips To Help Your Daughter Build Confidence

Raise Your Child — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 01:14:40 +0000

What do girls need to succeed? To feel confident, capable and whole. For starters, they need to learn how to feel comfortable in their own skin, to develop the inner strength to deal with the demands of peers, school and society and to love themselves just the way they are. But it’s difficult. Because girls receive so many conflicting messages that it’s difficult to distinguish between what really matters and what’s media fed hype.

On one hand girls are told, “You can do and be anything if you believe in yourself and follow your dreams.” On the other hand they are given the message that the ideal girls is one who behaves like a sex object or acts so composed and masculine that she scares off anyone who crosses her path.

If girls are made to feel like they do not have any real value beyond their looks or that they have to fit the media’s cookie-cutter image of a “real girl,” or they have to act like men to be taken seriously; then they will grow up confused and insecure.

The good news is as a mother and woman with life experience under your belt, you already know a lot about what it takes to help girls become strong and secure. Here are seven tips to help your daughter build confidence.

1. Help Her To Believe In Herself

If girls believe in themselves and have a healthy sense of identity, they will be able to assert their needs and see themselves as capable and lovable individuals. Show your daughter that you her and enjoy her company. Give her special tasks that enable her to feel significant, noticed and successful.

2. Value Her Uniqueness

Every girl needs to be accepted for who she is. This builds her confidence and her ability to stand her ground when pressured to stray away from her values. Let your daughter know what you admire about her. Encourage her to pursue her own unique interests. Make a conscious effort to understand her, even if you don’t agree with her. Teach her how to speak up for herself, even if others disagree with her point of view.

3. Help Her Feel Like She Belongs

Girls have a profound need to be accepted, to be part of a social circle that she fits in with. When she fits in socially, it meets her need for a social identity and helps her not to feel like an outcast. Help her meet her need to belong in a positive way by including her in family decisions. Get her input about decisions that will impact her. Help her to find social clubs, community groups and extra-curricular activities that allow her to nurture her interests and expand her social world. Be on the look out for signs of loneliness and social isolation.

4. Acknowledge Her Feelings

Feelings are fundamental. They help us make sense of the world. The sooner a girl learns that it’s ok to express her feelings, the better able she will be to communicate with others and stand up for herself. Acknowledge your daughter’s feelings and give her feelings validity. Share in her joys and struggles. Help her to put a bad day into perspective and not obsess over what other people think. Help her to trust her intuition.

5. Understand Her Social World

The social world of girls presents many opportunities and challenges. Ask her about her friends and interests. Teach her how to handle emotional bullying, sarcasm and the other kinds of subtle and not so subtle behaviors that girls often engage in to exert their influence, boost their status within the peer group and socially intimidate other girls. But also explain to her that there are many girls who do not engage in this kind of behavior and the best rule of thumb to live by is: Treat others as you would like to be treated.

6. Deal Sensitively With Peer Pressure

Throughout history girls have been faced with the pressure to confirm. But nowadays this pressure is happening at a younger and younger age. Help your daughter to feel accepted as she is. Discuss the issue of peer pressure and the dangers of engaging in behaviors that go against your values or lead to negative outcomes. Try not to be overly critical of her. This only makes her want to be more rebellious.

7. Be Realistic In Your Expectations

Every mother has her own set of expectations for her children. However, it’s important that your expectations are age and ability appropriate and not so rigid and unrealistic that your daughter feels like nothing she does will ever be good enough for you. If she feels like she can never measure up, she may stop trying all together. Encourage her to put her best foot forward, but give her room to be human.

Cassandra Mack is a girls empowerment expert and the author of, “Cool, Confident and Strong: 52 Power Moves for Girls.” For more information go to: http://www.coolconfidentandstrongcampaign.com

There’s No Need To Shout! Children Learn Obedience Through This Gentle Approach

Raise Your Child — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 05:58:26 +0000

I believe that parents can establish and maintain control over children without shouting or becoming angry. Not only is it possible, but I think it is highly desirable that parents use only gentle measures when raising their children. The spin-off effects include a better rapport between the generations, a warm, relaxed atmosphere in the home and a great likelihood that the closeness will continue as the child grows into adulthood.

It is essential to establish authority, such that a child understands that when a parent issues an instruction, the matter is settled. The parent must fulfill the role of a parent, and not abdicate their responsibility in the hope of becoming a “friend” to their child. Some parents feel that the modern way of bringing up children requires reasoning and debate with their child in all matters. I would say that for the important decisions, the parents must make the decision and simply tell the child the outcome.

This is because if children find that by arguing or demonstrating, they may change the parent’s decision, they will not accept the parent’s decision as the final word. It is essential for a parent to be firm in their resolve to abide by a decision. This requires some determination initially, if a child has been accustomed to getting their own way. But even children who have become accustomed to pleading for a change in their parent’s decisions will soon drop this habit once they find the parent has a new attitude and that bargaining now never succeeds. Children who never, from the beginning, find any success in arguing with their parents, won’t ever attempt to change a decision once the parents have made it.

Obedience can be obtained through entirely gentle measures. This specifically excludes physical punishment, or threats of future pain or humiliation (or frightening a child with potential “supernatural” consequences). While the non-gentle approach to promote obedience can produce rapid results in terms of a child’s short-term behavior, it is always at the cost of either mental or physical pain or loss of self esteem (for either or both parties).

Gentle measures require a greater use of the parent’s patience and imagination than non-gentle methods, but maintain a more harmonious relationship and foster mutual respect. Gentle approaches to encouraging good behavior are endlessly varied in form, dependant on each case, but there are many common themes: You must choose the right time. The most effective time to attempt to modify a child’s behavior may not be immediately after they have been disobedient. A child is more receptive to instruction on how to make decisions, how to make the right choice and how to behave when in a calm state of mind. Establishing a close connection of affection and sympathy between the parent and the child before making any comments on behavior will create a more profound effect. Using non-confrontational language is likely to encourage the child to listen to what you are saying rather than try to simply defend their actions. The use of a story: stories may enable a child to revisit a recent event in their own life from a different perspective. This can encourage the child to consider their actions in the way desired by the parents, without causing the child to feel guilty. Time to think: allowing a child time to reflect upon a story will encourage them to find the moral in the tale, which you can then discuss. The purpose of using a calm and considerate approach to training children is to create an impulse in the right direction of a child’s thinking such that rapid improvements in character are bound to follow. There is a cascading effect of improved awareness by the child of the effects of their behavior on others and an increasing ability to see things from another person’s perspective – one of the necessary characteristics of maturity.

Brendan McKeogh is the father of three boys and publishes books and articles on the subject of parenting and relationships. He offers a free mini-course via email through http://www.classicparentingsecrets.com